冬天

討厭陰天，
討厭虛弱，
討厭這種要哭不哭的情緒。

常覺得自己很堅強，但根本不是這麼一回事...
有點感冒，
情緒好像繃緊的橡皮筋，隨時可能斷裂。

Somehow being sick makes me feel like I am abandoned by the whole world and they put me in darkness.

對我來說，情緒抒發的出口是音樂，
憂鬱的時後盡是聽一些會讓自己感覺這世界也有人跟我擁抱相同的多愁善感，
我稱這些歌手:冬天的吟唱者，
唱著自己的不得志、唱著跟自己一樣的惆悵......

不盡相同的相同

對於標題一定讓大家很confused吧 ＸＤ
好久沒打中文的文章突然覺得自己的字句雜亂無章到一個極致，
但是這都不是重點，重點是我又成了一隻自由自在的free bird了...
倒是沒有一絲後悔的念頭，
有時候自己太奮不顧身投入一件事或是下了決定，
是好是壞只能靠時間來定奪。

今天想來介紹一些跟「時間」相關的歌，
時間 並不一定是 time 有時候更多的是關於 process or result。



People see rock and roll as, as youth culture, and when youth culture becomes monopolized by big business, what are the youth to do? Do you, do you have any idea?
I think we should destroy the bogus capitalist process that is destroying youth culture.

midnight talk Day HOME

It's been a week that I haven't updated any article, because you are here already! :)
Also I am on a brand new stage of my life now, a completely different but more joyful one.
Thank you for always being there for me. It's my motivation for moving forward totally.



I am young and I've made awful mistakes.
You are older and you'd do the same.

I don't really mind where will I be that much as how much I felt before, life seems to be a bit calm down after you. You've changed me, in a good way. You are very important to me.

I want to live in a house
Surrounded by snow and bears and wood and stars.
And all along the front of this stage
There will be fairy lights, as bright as any city night.

You have the purest heart eva and please never change it no matter how the future will be.
You gotta something everyone else loses already.
Never let the world sneak into and change you my paddling sailing boat.



We came, they went, our bodies spent
Among the dust and the microfiche

midnight talk Day 35

It's been 35 days passing already, so fast, so slow. 2 days left and I can see you and touch you for real :)
I could only be myself with you around.



You are my power resources, and the one I want to share everything with. Bastille's concert tonight was awesome, but it would be better if the person sitting next to me was you. I really love string music mixed with modern music. It pours new life into those songs we've known so well and take them into a totally different level.

I wish I could really enter a music school and create how to combine Taiwan with the rest of the world, and let them hear my voice under the condition you are with me there. You are my life vest while floating on the unknown ocean always. With you, everything seems to be easier to figure out a way for it.

Thank you for coming home. Thank you for holding my hands. Thank you for letting me love you.
I am the luckiest girl eva.
I love you.

midnight talk Day 34

I feel so down today, somehow, I might have telepathy with you, cause I can feel your sorrow here.
I don't know how you feel, but my heart lost some beats out of nowhere today. Maybe I just don't like being in noisy crowd personally. It enlarges my emptiness and helplessness of the question: where will I be? The suburbs of my life cracks a bit and wait for you home to rebuild it with me with love and hope.Honestly, without you, I am the normal-normal girl, a little screw in the machinery robotic world. I won't have the courage to speak for myself.You are the reason I become stronger. You are the engineer who can see my function inside thousand of pieces.
You are where I belong. You are my home.



and you write songs you know you'll never sing
and I don't know why
I guess you just hate yourself
you should turn around
cause I think the skies are gonna fall right over your head again

The songs seems to be so depressing but I get power from warning myself not to be the person he sang in lines.
Wake up Wake up We gonna find a way out here
Maybe the lack of certainty comes from my inknowledgeably mind.



No one has perfect life for sure, sometimes you deserve it to say "it's not okay."
And I know you will caress me so soon :)

I love you more than the distant of light year.
I love our future keeds and sweet family.
I love the way you are.

midnight talk Day 33

Good evening lava.
Some extra time alone finally in 2015, the very first time. And I look back thru the past week with this song, somehow, it's so magic that I always can find a perfect song coming with my current life.
"The earth has lost its hold"
I love this band very much, the vocal seems to have power in it, so warm, so sincerely. 
Will my doubt and fear disappear after all those chaos?
"I could love you as the way I always really meant to", this is the exact answer I never doubt.

I may not have all the goals straight ahead
I don't care about all those foolish things said
You once thought them great that was all in your head
So we're straight on till we see the sun

I love this paragraph so deeply. Because it contains and reveals the power of lines.
Those people and lives they have which I always dream of, come from my low self-esteem. There's no reason to envy their lives, cause I will never have the same one as they do. It's all in my small mind only, and care too much from besides. When I am not with you, the magic of confidence is gone, and I never see myself as champion eva. Thank you for being my inspiration and motivation of life. 
You change me into a bettea Sherry.

I love you and you occupy all my mind always.

midnight talk Day 32 *special*

sorry I couldn't finish my midnight talk in time yesterday, so I think i should write another special one for you :)

I am so glad only 5 days left for you to come home. The separation over a month is a challenge I give both of us and myself. I know it sounds very stupid, but remember the wall I told you before, I just wan to make sure that nothing in the way between us. And there's nothing :)
Even though it's so unbearable to say goodbye and to be in a day-reverse life from yours. But please tell me if you wanna go home is the line I want to ask you every day and night.

I feel like illusiveheaven is my best friend to take all my emotion while you can't be here with me, and it works very well. 

so you find yourself in the subway
when your world in a bag by your side
and all at once it seemed like a good way
you realized it's the end of your life
for what it's worth

I struggle so hard after graduation, or to be precisely, after coming back from Poland. When I was abroad, all possibilities seemed so possible to come true, the truth is NO WAY. I don't like you have talent on animation and drawing, what I wanna do is totally different from my major, and it's so hard to carry on, to start from beginning, and to trust myself doing it. I thought I was so close to my eternal dream from the beginning, but it's all lies from my heart.
I am on a train never coming back to the past, but I never regret taking the wrong one and wasting time. Those ever are my petrol for next destination.

Wish I am still the girl you love when you come home. I don't change at all, maybe a little stronger than before :) I feel like 10 years older after the whole month on my own haha. I can survive from our next separation for sure but absolutely will be a lost star in the universe tho. Please don't leave me again longer than 14 days, that't the longest period I could stand. 


You are my blue sky.

Cold inside somehow it thrived
no one knows the way this wind will blow
Will we ever see life int he sky?
My answer is YES when you are around :)

midnight talk Day 31+32

My little chub, it seems I use all my bad luck in the beginning of this new year :(
Maybe I ran out of all my good luck on you, but it's worthy.
I tend to be such a positive and cheerful being a student, ever since I start working, It's so hard to find balance in between. Sometimes I fee like a floating boat in the middle of Pacific Ocean. There's no way to escape from exploring the world and mostly - myself.

But I won't be hesitate owing to this dilemma I encounter right now. It's very silly to be stuck in the past instead of moving on. When I think of the sweetest life we are going to have and our little family, all the worries will fade away immediately at the moment you are in my mind :) Thank you and thank you.

I couldn't describe the feeling when you are around, it's so warm, so well-protected, so in-loved. I am extremely happy that I am going to hug you in 5 days, and kiss you, make love with you, wake up next to you and fall asleep in your armpit :)

There're so many things I want to tell you. How much I love you is way more beyond the words. You are my light house of my missing floating shaky boat. And I am so glad you are the one.

I love you brighter than the sun.

midnight talk Day 30

A MONTH! 30 DAYS! WOAH!



Nothing ever rose up
Gone to see you through
No one even noticed
'Till I crawled in slow 
A new world clouded out the sun

I know you are sorta sad of leaving family again, but my love, please always keep in mind that all those people you love and love you will be there for you for every occasion no matter how.
Even you choose to stay or whatever your choice will be, I will love so much still, even how hard we have to go through :) So do your family for sure.
So I put Bury Us Alive by STRFKR to tell you even the end of world is coming, us will be with you always always always. You will be my sunshine forevea.


The way the day begins
Decides the shade of everything
But the way it ends depends on if you're home

My porky, come home and rest with me :)
We can say good morning and good night at the same time finally.
I love you warmer than sunshine.

midnight talk Day 29

I said sorry to them, but they use my apology as weakness of me to control me tho. I feel terribly sorry for them but also it's enough for me there, it's over in my mind. I have to be more certain of what I want and be confirm to it. Can't be manipulate over and over.



Need more power today for tomorrow, so I listen to Patti's songs all night long. 
I wish someday I could be her giving girls like me courage through my own way. Will the day come someday?
Also she turned my dream into nothing (smaller than dust) today, and I was so upset and sorrowful of that kinda adults who already lost their dream long time ago. How can we keep our heart together without be worn out by the world? If I were alone, maybe it's a endless question that I have to spend a lifetime to figure it out. But now I have you and there's nothing to be afraid of anymore.



It's fun to be lose and to pretend.

Let's keep our mind young always, even the entire world changes into different level.
Let's be our own owner :)

I love you so much more everyday!

midnight talk Day 28

I had so much fun staying at friend's house last night and let my worries to be heard is such a relief.
Although my stomach is still trembling of being in tomorrow, I do receive some positive strength from them.
Four-day holiday is going to an end, have to go back to reality again in life. It's a brand new year woah! I don't know what and where will I be in 2015, not very sure about my own future. But that's the way of life itself you can't escape but face it. I wish that the best thing I've got in 2014 can be hold on to 2015, and it's you :)

You are always in my mind. Not like we have to guess what are you thinking that sorta stuffs, but more is understanding. I have to say sorry of worrying you making out with girls so many times, because I don't really know who you were in the past. All I can do is trust you and what you've told me. But I am very willing to do so.
You are the center of my solar system, the sun of my planet, the resource where my energy comes from. My life is rotating around you all the time.

Hoppípolla means jump into puddle in English.

This is definitely one of my life song as I told you before. Right now ranking #1 with Ólafur Arnalds' Ljósið.
I call them life song mostly from how I describe the melody for myself. There're so many intersection in life, also tons people coming and leaving all the time. How you lift it up and how you let go are the main courses you have to learn. 
It's easy for me to open up for new adventures, but there's always a wall there in between me and the world to protect myself from falling that hard again. It's always hiding behind my smile. But you've already make a tunnel and stay with me inside since I saw you as my lifetime partner. You are the first and the only one since then.
I promise to build a castle for us and future family to protect us from this fuzzily deceivable world. 
Even though there're millions attackers in the way, En ég stend alltaf upp. 

I love you more than drizzling rain :)

midnight talk Day 27

It's been a long day so far, and I still can't calm down right now for the mistake I've made yesterday.
My belly trembles like a squeezing lemon, also I ate nothing today but tea. I know you would say "that's why my lava", but not in any mood out of thinking the whole stupid mistake I've made. SINKING SO DEEP.



Can you see in the dark?
Can you see the look on your face?
The flashing white light's been turned off
You don't know who's in your bed

Also I don't know how to keep myself warm right now. It's been terrible to stay alone drowning, and also I don't want to bother your time with friends, and you already talked to me a lot to help me tho.
So I decided not to stay home tonight with loneliness and terror from my job, no clues that how my monday will be, probably be fired or be the one all to blame on. Can't even tell so that it's gonna be alright, the only thought repeats in my mind is learn the lesson. But how can I fill up the hole I've been digging wrong :(

Right now I can't see anything. There's no light here.
Need your warmth so badly again in the cold days.

midnight talk Day 26

I made a mistake, and it's unfixedable, also undeniably it's my fault.
I was too careless to my job and it finally filed up at this moment and crashed me.
There's no song in my mind right now, totally blank and blank. I don't know whom can I talk to, no clues what's the next step I should take. It's been overtaken now the whole situation. I don't want to face it but I have to. 
Help!
Help!
Help me please.

My mind is completely lost. 
I am an idiot.
I am an idiot.
I am an idiot.
I am an idiot doesn't know how to fix the risk.
Please call me I am begging you :(

midnight talk Day 25

Happy New Year my lava :)
Even we stay in different time zone (you are 15 hours behind), but I feel you were so close to me.
Thank you so much for staying up and calling me. It's the safest feeling I've ever had when you were gone.
Also I find the perfect song to start new year 2015.



Watch things on VCRs
With me and talk about big love
I think we're superstars
You say you think we are the best thing
But you, you just know
You just do

This song are mostly everything I want to tell you on new year eve, also it's one of my all-time favorite.
You give me power to believe that we are fearless and bold to face everything in our lives. And you are my generator of life absolutely.Writing you midnight talk everyday becomes my habit in a good way to happiness.
Sometimes we were both too tired or busy to talk, I tell you everything here, also I hope you do feel my emotion.

I had a very good NYE, not only because the concert was awesome, more because of you. When I called you standing on the grass hill, wind blew on my face, my clothes, my long skirts so hard, at a moment I wished there would be a tornado bringing me to you to surprise your sugary face. I laughed a lot yesterday but also burst into tears while people counting down the seconds. Those tears combined with joy and content. I swallowed the salty taste which reminded me of us before your leaving. You kissed my tears and it's so bitter-sweet all the time.

It's Day 25, a number reminding me of Christmas. My new year resolution will be having a family with you and carrying on my music dream boldly with you being my back. I want to tell you the same thing that you have  my support for anything as well. 

I love you more than stars. I love you deeper than ocean. I love you  bigger than universe.
Happy New Year, my favorite prince charming in the entire world.