midnight talk Day 11

That if you built this to look just like you
Then here’s the irony
No one will know
If it’s tomorrow or today that you go

If it is growing
If it is clawing
And wants to get out
Then let it come out

Day eleven my porky.
Somehow I get all upset today. This song totally says mostly how I feel today tho.
Sorry, I didn't tend to feel so depressing whilst you were away, just those extra time walking home alone with holiday feelings of others kill whole imaginable cells in my for dreams.

There's Christmas tree on the main shopping street near the fanciest theater we've been to once.
There's couples holding hands and hugging each's so close walking pass by me everyday.
And there's me trying so hard to figure out those question without an exact answer.

I miss Poland, Ireland, Berlin, Budapest, and also England so much. At the exactly same time right now last year, I was in Edinburgh hiking on Arthur's Hill with friends, and then gotta some very strong (7.2% alcohol !!!) in pubs and chatting so happily and carefree.

But I don't miss that sorta life, more is about the feeling ya know.
No need luxury presents or going anywhere, just want to have our own cell together forevea.
Also some little surprises to light up our days, that's simple but very difficult to have it tho.

I know that my heart is starting to be dramatic again right now, but please remember one thing, I am also telling my bitter heart, that I love you so much.
I wish you do love me as I do, but not sure tho.

My porky I miss those shiny stars in your insightful, beautiful eyes.