midnight talk Day 3

I smoked today,maybe a dozen.
Somehow on the way getting used to life without you, somehow not as sorrowful as yesterday.
Surrounded by smokes calm me down as an old friend.
Sorry I broke our promise.

Surgery is just around the corner. I am so afraid. So afraid going alone back and forth.
Hate hospital as usual, those lifeless rooms suffocate me all the time.
Who could I tell about my fear? No one actually.

I am to close to you, way too close too dangerous.




"You found this spot on a wall and you just stared all day
 
 and it felt so uncomfortable until i made you look away
 and your eyes were crossed and glazed and in that moment you lost


 maybe it's for the best that you're not here at all"


Please take your sympathy away, it's very hurtful every moment.
You won't understand the feeling being left behind and threw away.

My wish is just so simple as every girl does....



Please stay with me
You say go, I'll go
If you wanted to take it slow
We'll take it slow
Put your hands over my eyes
I'm happy to be blind

But not for this year.
This long December.